i wanna go home

Dedicated to all those who made their homes in my heart

"Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedureFor there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him."

Ecclesiastes 8:5,6

In the past two years, I’ve spent more time in the Philippines than I have in Singapore. Why? I know there’s always a specific reason for why God brings me to wherever he does. Yet up until recently, I never found the reason for why I was there although I felt in every fibre of my being that God directed me here for a purpose. If so, what was it? When people ask me why I was there again, I told them I was there for my elective. It’s the truth.

But as it says in Proverbs 16:9 ‘In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.’ A month went by and I still wasn’t sure I had found it. I admit I was beginning to get disappointed. Was I there by my own choice or by God’s? But one Sunday, I sat there thinking about how I was leaving soon and the strangest thought popped in my head. I thought to myself ‘How nice it would be when the day comes that I don’t have to count down to the time I’m leaving.’ And I was really shocked at this idea because that would mean me staying here indefinitely. While I’m not sure about that, I finally found the reason after all. I wasn’t coming to Palawan for my elective, I was coming home.

I suppose it would seem as though I’m turning my back on my own family in Singapore, but God reminds me so clearly of Jesus’ words in Luke 9:62 to the man who wanted to say goodbye to his family: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” This is my first charge as God’s steward: to abandon all that I’ve known. No regrets. God never takes away something without giving something better in return. Some people tell me that I’ve been brave in leaving my comfort zone to come here. If so, then call me a coward because I’ve never felt more in my comfort zone than being in the Philippines. I can’t explain why God chose the Philippines but there are many things about God’s grace I cannot explain. But when the blessing is so great, I can’t complain.

A week before I was leaving, the only song that played in my mind was the song ‘Home’ by Michael Buble. All I think of is, I wanna go home. I used to think how far away Puerto was just to get there, but home never seems too far away isn't it? I know many more tears must fall before I can finally go back… but these tears are only a reminder of how precious this family has become to me. I know that at the end of the day, when God opens the way, it will all be worth the wait.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home

I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home