From martyr to mother

‘When you are a mother, you will understand.’ I do not know how many times I have heard those words since I began my missionary journey, taking my first mission trip solo at the age of 19 years.

When I was 16, one Missions Sunday in church, I felt a calling as I sang the hymn ‘Here I Am’.

‘It is I, Lord, I have heard you calling in the night.’ I was determined to answer the call, but where to go. As I began to read stories by DC Talk and the Voice of the Martyrs, I was inspired by the stories of those who gave their lives to receive the crown of life in exchange. The highest calling possible and I dreamed in my heart, if only one day, God would count me worthy of such a calling. I therefore was determined that I had to stay single, so that when my turn came, I could, like the disciples, drop everything as it were. To war-torn places my heart seemed to draw me to. Places where there was a dire need for any basic resource. As I ventured into places like the DRC, South Sudan, Marawi, there were often arguments with my mother about going to these places. ‘When you are a mother, you will understand,’ she would remind me constantly. ‘Nope, I said, cos I am not going to be a mother.’

But it turns out, as always, his plans are higher than our plans and his ways higher than ours. After wrestling with God for years, I found myself in a relationship, married, and not only that, mother to two beautiful children. Now I finally understand those words my mother constantly uttered. God had a different calling in mind for me. And perhaps a higher or even harder calling than what I had in mind. The endless nights, the tantrums you battle, the patience you search for that you never had, and all for what? Because God has charged you with one of the most difficult callings: to be a mother. To be a Christian mother means that God has charged you with raising the next generation. Being a mother means that you need to martyr your own way of life, to ensure that the little eyes that watch you are learning all that they should. 

The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. I will need to spend my lifetime ensuring that my children are equipped to serve in God’s kingdom, to teach them that they need to love the Lord and for them to teach others.

This is why almost no one can live up to the model of a mother in Proverbs 31. For it says ‘A wife of noble character who can find?’ An almost impossible unattainable calling. But we must try, for the sake of the call. 

I have been blessed to have a headstart in life, being guided by my own mother. And I pray that God will continue to guide me to be the best mother I can to my own children.

Blessed Mothers’ Day to all.

Thanks Mum for everything.