the sweetest thing

It's been somewhat of an anti-climactic end to the year... the last day has ended with me taking my obstetrics and gynaecology assessment with my eyes at half-mast. So sleep is the only thing on my mind right now. This morning when I woke up, I was still so tired that I felt like I couldn't put two and two together, let alone take a test, but one thing was still so clear in my mind.

My blog entries have always been about the beauty of God's creation, or God's grace. Yet while I marvel at the the blue sky, green grass and colourful flowers, I have never admired God's greatest creation as much: humanity. Yet this is another reason for why I wanted to do medicine... Communicating with people seemed to be easier than with animals and plants (for the most part). All too often I have seen the proud, arrogant, shameful side of humanity that it's hard to picture how God might have created man in his own image.

As I stood in the corner of the theatre, I watched this woman finally break down in tears from the pain and stress that this pregnancy had given her. Of course, the staff try to offer reassurance as always but it usually falls on deaf ears. Though her husband wanted to hold her hand, the lines and drips made things difficult. But then, as he sat beside her wiping the tears from her eyes, he then pressed the tissue to his eyes to wipe away his own tears. That, I think is the beauty of humanity.

It's easy to laugh with someone, and easy to give someone a hug or their hand a squeeze for comfort, but there is something amazing about being able to cry with someone. Perhaps seeing a man cry was probably something surprising in itself. The delivery of their baby wasn't perhaps a Kodak moment to me, but seeing these two parents-to-be battle together was. Indeed, I pray that we would never lose the precious gift of humanity.

RoSE

It seems like ages since my last entry but apparently not... Anyway, 4 more weeks to finals. While I am aching for medical school to be over, the thought of having taken my last exam more than a year ago does seem to be a frightening thought. But things are going better. By God's grace, I'm retaining things better than I ever could remember, which is a shock in itself... I'm trying to concentrate on revising, but every 5 minutes or less, my mind floats back to thoughts of being in the Philippines. While every day everywhere should be the same, when I'm there, every day is an adventure for God. I can have so much fun doing the things I do and it's made all the more precious because it's another way to give back to God.

But here I go again. Distracted. As David said in 2 Samuel 7:18 "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 18 years after taking my first steps with God, life is just beginning and I am still learning to crawl. I could sit forever and ponder the greatness of God and wonder why he loved me enough to give me this charge of doing his work. Today as I was running to get the bus home, the bus driver just rolled her eyes at me and drove off although I was standing in front of the bus. Didn't make my day but I just sat down and waited. Normally, I'd have blown a fuse but this time I just wasn't bothered. Oddly enough, halfway down the road, there was a whole group of people coming to board our bus, the next bus. The bus that I'd missed had had an accident. It had a collision with a little car, who didn't appear to have much of a bonnet left. I don't think anyone was seriously injured, but I know it was the grace of God that kept me safe and more importantly, made me realise how well God has guarded me.

At the start of 4th year, we are given a little book to collect signatures of all the procedures we've done and witnessed, also known as our Record of Clinical Experience. As I look back on what has happened today and since the first step I took out into the wilderness, it's been strewn with these little packages of grace which God has littered my path with. And this is my Record of Spiritual Experience, signed by our one and only loving heavenly Father.

"Jesus what can I give,
What can I bring?
To so faithful a friend
To so loving a king
Savior, what can be said
What can be sung
As a praise of your name
For the things you have done
Oh my words could not tell
Not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart."

Indeed, what a debt of love I owe.