this is for you...

This period must surely merit a post though for the past two days, I just can't find the words to express my happiness. And when I finally manage to scrounge up some words, the tears get in the way. I guess when I entered medical school five years ago, I knew this day would come eventually. But no one ever said that it would feel this good.

Knowing we passed our portfolio exams doesn't just mean medical school is over, that we can call ourselves doctors, that we can go on to take our foundation jobs, that we'll be getting our first salary in August; for me, it's more than that. It means that I'm one step closer to the mission field. I know the world thinks me crazy for being impatient to sit my postgraduate exams, but now that undergraduate exams are over, it's something to look forward to. This chapter of my life has finally finished and it's time to start writing a longer one and it can only get better.

But the tears I cry aren't really tears of happiness... they're tears of gratitude... Gratitude to the mercy that has flowed from the throne of God into me, but also to each person who has been a part of my life and helped shape who I am. Five years ago, I remember sitting on my mum's bed and said that perhaps I shouldn't pursue medicine because it would cost an awful lot. But my mum told me that if this was what I wanted, they would support me.

To Mummy and Daddy - thanks for the genes, the prayers and the love.

To Ming che and Jo - for the online chats when I was bored.

To Remy - for pampering me when I came home.

To my Ee-Ees - for the daily emails and for lending me your shirt at the interview.

To my grandparents - for being more proud of me than anyone ever could be.

To those who inspired me - Ate Ding, Prof Chew, Dr Sum, Dr Ben, Ate Julie, V

To my prayer warriors and soulmates- Ate Babes, Ate Jenn, Ate Joy, Ate Gen, Zelda

To my fellow Dundonians - Tara and Charl - or rather, Dr Morley and Dr Soulsby

To those who made me smile - Philip, Di, Nat, Man Yun

To those who believed in me - Auntie Connie, Auntie Jen, Uncle Yew Meng and Auntie Hannah.

And to little Simone - I hope that when you said you wanted to be like Che Che Deborah, you meant you wanted to become a doctor, not the big bad wolf.

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13,14

Lord, all this is for you.

in the world, not of the world

Stray thoughts have been racing through my head these past few weeks but I feel like I just haven't had enough to put a blog post together. As usual, in the run-up to exams, my mind is drifting and I am doing everything BUT revising for exams. I wasn't like this before but as I fill my time watching Star Trek Voyager, I realise how much my education system had fashioned me into a Borg drone. Complete a task and start on another. Every drone is part of the one collective mind. Every inch of creativity and individuality is suppressed. Pleasure is irrelevant. I have to admit, it's been enjoyable coming out into the real world.

Last night, I happened to catch the Da Vinci code on TV and realise how unreal the world really is. While the Israelites are often mentioned in the Bible 'doing evil in the eyes of the Lord', their practices were often limited to worshipping foreign gods... Two millenia later, we're inventing new ways everyday to diminish the true power of God. I expect someone will be printing one of those 'A-Page-A-Day' calendars on such a topic. Angry? Yes, that's the emotion I expected myself to have. But I don't have the right to be. I am part of Adam's fallen race. I find myself before the throne and the only words I have are, 'Lord, have mercy.' It makes me sad to think that man has tried to mortalise God through a movie. But a great Comforter he has been and always will be, he spoke to me through John 1:14 "The only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." Spurgeon writes in his devotional, "You can say, 'He is divine to me, if He be human to all the world beside. He has done that for me which none but a God could do... Let others think as they will of Him, to me He must be the only begotten of the Father, blessed be his name'."

Indeed, he is divine to me, if He be human to all the world beside.