Ever get the feeling that you're not as resilient as you thought you were? Well, I did. I thought I could push on easily with my life as I always do and not let emotions get in the way. But all you need is one little crack in the wall for the dam to burst. Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and to be honest, I thought that it didn't really bother me anymore that I was all alone in Stirling, away from my friends. What's one birthday and really, you just have to get on with your life don't you?
I started the day in theatre and although it wasn't an eventful day, it wasn't bad. As long as I didn't try to remember that it was my birthday, things were fine. But the day before, I read my sister's blog and seeing pictures of my family in Disneyland without me made me miss them more, naturally compounded by the fact that I was all alone in Stirling. Then of course, by the afternoon, I'd got texts from people saying 'Happy Birthday'. I loved it of course but then it makes it harder to forget. With little persuasion, I bolted back to Dundee for the night and went for dinner with Janet. And I had such a great time because she put so much effort in trying to make me smile after that dismal day. When I returned home, I found letters in my mailbox from my family in the Philippines and tears just flooded my eyes. I was so touched by all the warm greetings I'd received from so far away.
Maybe a birthday is just a birthday after all, but it's the people that I have been blessed with that make it special. It's not about the parties, the cake or the presents, it's about having even just one person who would do anything to make you smile. Guess I'm not as much of a loner as I'd thought, but the love I have been given has built me up and I'm stronger than I was now.
Wednesday 12 December 2007
Saturday 1 December 2007
the ties that bind...
So I came to the conclusion quite a few months ago that the year 2007 had been such an amazing year that I was ready to start the next year. What I had realised was that the complacency of such a thought would be my downfall. God was bringing me through each day and I never quite realised the power of subconscious thought. I never realised that slowly the passion that I had had just a few months ago was but a glowing ember. I was fading out so slowly that I never quite knew it. I had taken the backseat just because the ride had been so excellent and at the back of my mind, I was going to kick in towards the end of the year and plan for 2008.
Then what comes of the few months in between? They obviously don’t go away and when it comes to a stage like this that we don’t realise, you lose precious time for God and with him as well. I guess the realisation came when all I wanted to do was go to bed at the end of a hectic day, instead of spending time meditating in God’s presence. For a few weeks, there had been things brewing in my mind that I just couldn’t put down, like projects, meetings and all the whatnots along the way. I needed a timeout and my time away in Stirling would probably give me that. Unfortunately, my first week was an absolute shambles and I was close to tears because of the atrocious week I’d had.
That weekend my friends and I were going to the Delirious concert and was probably the thing I needed to perk me up again. I enjoyed myself immensely but what I also was a singer just trying to communicate God’s message to the people, but what he had were crowds cheering and screaming for him while reading Isaiah 61. It made me think of Acts 14, when Paul and Barnabas were hailed as gods and although people heard them, they weren’t really listening. How easily the mind gets caught up in these delusions and we hardly notice it. We follow the messenger and not the one who sent it. After thousands of years, man is still man.
But that was what I needed to see, these fetters that have got us tied to this world. I needed to break these ties that bind. That’s why I had such a bad week, I relied so much on my own strength and I’d forgotten to call on the one person who did have the strength I needed. I’d asked God to give me a good day but then start out with trepidation. Obviously there was faith lacking there. Finally, when I got down on my knees and let go of everything, I could see God working. I had an amazing week in Stirling and things couldn’t have gone more smoothly with all the projects and everything I had to do.
To be honest, God makes me laugh with the way he’s done everything. I may not always understand it, but he really does have a great sense of humour.
Then what comes of the few months in between? They obviously don’t go away and when it comes to a stage like this that we don’t realise, you lose precious time for God and with him as well. I guess the realisation came when all I wanted to do was go to bed at the end of a hectic day, instead of spending time meditating in God’s presence. For a few weeks, there had been things brewing in my mind that I just couldn’t put down, like projects, meetings and all the whatnots along the way. I needed a timeout and my time away in Stirling would probably give me that. Unfortunately, my first week was an absolute shambles and I was close to tears because of the atrocious week I’d had.
That weekend my friends and I were going to the Delirious concert and was probably the thing I needed to perk me up again. I enjoyed myself immensely but what I also was a singer just trying to communicate God’s message to the people, but what he had were crowds cheering and screaming for him while reading Isaiah 61. It made me think of Acts 14, when Paul and Barnabas were hailed as gods and although people heard them, they weren’t really listening. How easily the mind gets caught up in these delusions and we hardly notice it. We follow the messenger and not the one who sent it. After thousands of years, man is still man.
But that was what I needed to see, these fetters that have got us tied to this world. I needed to break these ties that bind. That’s why I had such a bad week, I relied so much on my own strength and I’d forgotten to call on the one person who did have the strength I needed. I’d asked God to give me a good day but then start out with trepidation. Obviously there was faith lacking there. Finally, when I got down on my knees and let go of everything, I could see God working. I had an amazing week in Stirling and things couldn’t have gone more smoothly with all the projects and everything I had to do.
To be honest, God makes me laugh with the way he’s done everything. I may not always understand it, but he really does have a great sense of humour.
Sunday 11 November 2007
More than a memory
Remember..
The global day of prayer has been an event highlighted in the past few years, where countries unite in prayer – praying for countries, world leaders, churches, organisations, families and the heart of every individual to beat in sync with the love of Christ.
Yet many of us forget one important part of the church, so rightly named the Underground Church. I’m sure many of you recall how Paul and Silas caused an earthquake with their worship. It started within the prison walls. The fire of the Holy Spirit may have been toned down to a minimum in our churches of today, but the Holy Spirit is still very much alive in the underground church, fuelled by the passion of the Christians who have dared their all for Christ. Revival seems like an everyday occurrence in the underground church.
But surely the movement of the Holy Spirit can’t be caged by prison walls. Well, it’s not. But we’ve got the Holy Spirit on thermostat. We’ll turn the heat up when we’re feeling cold, and down when we’re feeling too warm. Unless we learn to move with the Spirit, we won’t see revival. There are reports of revival coming from all over the world – Brazil, Nepal, Mexico, Mongolia, Kenya, South Korea. But the only way we can bring revival to the place we are in is through prayer.
So where do we go from here? We were created to worship God, with every fibre of our being. Not just in song but in spirit and in truth. We need to worship him for the wonder that he is, and we just need to get down on our knees and pray. Prayer moves mountains, so if more of us start praying, then we’re going to be moving many more mountains.
In Hebrews 13:3, Paul writes “Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Paul asks that we join them in their chains – the chain of prayer. Don’t break this chain. Don’t keep looking inwards, look at the needs of others and remember the persecuted.
Many of those who are persecuted have not seen daylight for years, some have waited 20 years to own a bible and many still waiting, and even more leave behind families in need. Their freedom has been taken from them, their property, their families, but no one can take their faith from them. Every year, more and more Christians are being martyred for their faith, for their apostolic passion. The time of persecution is not coming to an end, it is barely beginning.
November 11 2007 is the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. For many, it’s a day to remember those fallen in the Great War. But this year, there’s another reason to remember November 11. Remember this day and stand together with our brothers and sisters. When you pray with passion, the Holy Spirit will give you the same passion that is alive in the underground church. You already have the fire within you, just don’t keep it to yourself. Don’t forget, Jesus himself said ‘No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.’
Just let the Holy Spirit guide you as you pray and remember Ezekiel 47:12 –
“Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing."
And so may it be for us too, that our leaves never wither, nor our fruit fail.
The global day of prayer has been an event highlighted in the past few years, where countries unite in prayer – praying for countries, world leaders, churches, organisations, families and the heart of every individual to beat in sync with the love of Christ.
Yet many of us forget one important part of the church, so rightly named the Underground Church. I’m sure many of you recall how Paul and Silas caused an earthquake with their worship. It started within the prison walls. The fire of the Holy Spirit may have been toned down to a minimum in our churches of today, but the Holy Spirit is still very much alive in the underground church, fuelled by the passion of the Christians who have dared their all for Christ. Revival seems like an everyday occurrence in the underground church.
But surely the movement of the Holy Spirit can’t be caged by prison walls. Well, it’s not. But we’ve got the Holy Spirit on thermostat. We’ll turn the heat up when we’re feeling cold, and down when we’re feeling too warm. Unless we learn to move with the Spirit, we won’t see revival. There are reports of revival coming from all over the world – Brazil, Nepal, Mexico, Mongolia, Kenya, South Korea. But the only way we can bring revival to the place we are in is through prayer.
So where do we go from here? We were created to worship God, with every fibre of our being. Not just in song but in spirit and in truth. We need to worship him for the wonder that he is, and we just need to get down on our knees and pray. Prayer moves mountains, so if more of us start praying, then we’re going to be moving many more mountains.
In Hebrews 13:3, Paul writes “Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Paul asks that we join them in their chains – the chain of prayer. Don’t break this chain. Don’t keep looking inwards, look at the needs of others and remember the persecuted.
Many of those who are persecuted have not seen daylight for years, some have waited 20 years to own a bible and many still waiting, and even more leave behind families in need. Their freedom has been taken from them, their property, their families, but no one can take their faith from them. Every year, more and more Christians are being martyred for their faith, for their apostolic passion. The time of persecution is not coming to an end, it is barely beginning.
November 11 2007 is the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. For many, it’s a day to remember those fallen in the Great War. But this year, there’s another reason to remember November 11. Remember this day and stand together with our brothers and sisters. When you pray with passion, the Holy Spirit will give you the same passion that is alive in the underground church. You already have the fire within you, just don’t keep it to yourself. Don’t forget, Jesus himself said ‘No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.’
Just let the Holy Spirit guide you as you pray and remember Ezekiel 47:12 –
“Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing."
And so may it be for us too, that our leaves never wither, nor our fruit fail.
Friday 5 October 2007
the pure venetian
Just the other night I watched a documentary about the woeful story of Venice, told by a Venetian who had helplessly watched the true beauty of the city be eroded by the romantic fantasies of British literary figures such as Lord Byron and Charles Dickens. The tranquillity of Venice seemed to be slowly torn apart by their imaginations. Despite the words that flourished from their pen, none had portrayed Venice as it truly had been. The Venice that they spoke of was an idyllic picture that existed only in their dreams. Painters were no different from the writers. They combined different vantage points of the city to produce a perfect Venetian landscape. But it was far from accurate.
Nonetheless, these fantasies fanned many a tourists to the great canals of Venice and they still are today. Yet it would seem now that the biggest problem is not the sinking of the city, the Venetian population is already dwindling. The issue is, what does it mean to be a true Venetian? The documentary ends on a sad note, with two born and bred Venetians discussing what has become of Venice – the fake Murano glass, the multitude of tourist shops and the loss of heritage. Indeed so, I distinctly remember the streets lined with souvenir shops, with a McDonalds’ restaurant strewn in between. Forgive me for saying so but it does not seem quite so perfect to me.
Yet this false Venice draws such a striking parallel to the world of Christianity today. What does it mean to be a true Christian? It seems that the world Jesus created has been so desecrated by our false ideals. I refuse to believe that the true Christian is but a ghost of a memory, a shadow on a thought. The Venetian proudly traced his lineage to nearly 200 years back, where his ancestors were buried in the same city. We have a lineage 2000 years back and so easily, we’ve forgotten it. Many do not regard the Bible as the treasure it is. They do not see it as the epic story it is, written by the hand of God. Instead, it has become a battleground for empty debate. The church, once a dwelling for the Holy Spirit that was brought alive by the truest worship of believers, seems but a hollow building in so many places around the world.
Instead of beckoning others to buy the fake Murano glass in our windows, we forget that watching the true Murano glassblower at work attracts more people. It attracts people who want the real deal. It’s the same with the Christian. Words never have as much meaning as actions do. When others see that you are the real deal, you won’t need words anymore.
So how did people like Charles Spurgeon, John G. Lake and John Bunyan keep their passion alive for God? It had nothing to do with the era they were in. They just remembered who they were. They stayed true to who they were and who they were to born be. Venetian or Christian, all we need to do is – keep it pure.
Nonetheless, these fantasies fanned many a tourists to the great canals of Venice and they still are today. Yet it would seem now that the biggest problem is not the sinking of the city, the Venetian population is already dwindling. The issue is, what does it mean to be a true Venetian? The documentary ends on a sad note, with two born and bred Venetians discussing what has become of Venice – the fake Murano glass, the multitude of tourist shops and the loss of heritage. Indeed so, I distinctly remember the streets lined with souvenir shops, with a McDonalds’ restaurant strewn in between. Forgive me for saying so but it does not seem quite so perfect to me.
Yet this false Venice draws such a striking parallel to the world of Christianity today. What does it mean to be a true Christian? It seems that the world Jesus created has been so desecrated by our false ideals. I refuse to believe that the true Christian is but a ghost of a memory, a shadow on a thought. The Venetian proudly traced his lineage to nearly 200 years back, where his ancestors were buried in the same city. We have a lineage 2000 years back and so easily, we’ve forgotten it. Many do not regard the Bible as the treasure it is. They do not see it as the epic story it is, written by the hand of God. Instead, it has become a battleground for empty debate. The church, once a dwelling for the Holy Spirit that was brought alive by the truest worship of believers, seems but a hollow building in so many places around the world.
Instead of beckoning others to buy the fake Murano glass in our windows, we forget that watching the true Murano glassblower at work attracts more people. It attracts people who want the real deal. It’s the same with the Christian. Words never have as much meaning as actions do. When others see that you are the real deal, you won’t need words anymore.
So how did people like Charles Spurgeon, John G. Lake and John Bunyan keep their passion alive for God? It had nothing to do with the era they were in. They just remembered who they were. They stayed true to who they were and who they were to born be. Venetian or Christian, all we need to do is – keep it pure.
Monday 10 September 2007
my first love
It’s been nearly a year since I first gazed upon the beauty of the Scottish highlands… standing there among the rising cliffs brought my thoughts back to when I first stood there. I look around me and I think of some of my favourite artists – Da Vinci, Van Gogh, but none of them could paint a picture such as this. No one has an imagination like God, and no one could ever put so much effort into perfecting every little detail. A song plays through my mind again and again – it’s called The Love of God by Sandi Patti, and it starts “What made God take so much care to make creation glow? He could have made it black and white, and we’d have never known.” Yes, I do wonder, what would the world seem like in black and white.
The summer is nearly over, but the flowers are still in perfect bloom. Man may be able to clone sheep, and even themselves one day… But I doubt that man will ever be able to create a flower as God has. I saw all the splendour of this world contained in a single white rose. Could man ever do that? Perhaps this is a good reminder of not only the perfection of our Father, but all the imperfections of ourselves.
Going back to the Scottish highlands tempted me into going through all my blog entries again, for it was much about the time when I had opened up to share with others all that was in my heart. There always seems a danger in being too transparent, a fear that I had always harboured within me. Nonetheless, God finally showed me that I was selfish to keep all his blessings to myself and so my blog was born. And as I read through them again, it seemed that I had forgotten some of the things I had written, so small but yet so significant in molding me. And it tells me that I am on my way towards becoming the person God wants me to be, even if just an inch at a time. But what is contained in my blog – nothing but grace upon grace. I have known the full measure of grace that my heart can contain, so overwhelming it could break your heart. Yet I know somehow that the grace God has to give far exceeds that. I find that through the years, I have so little trials to speak of, I don’t know why. Maybe God has not tested as I deserve, but then the grace he gives always surpasses any heartbreak I have ever been through. Yesterday in Edinburgh, the song of the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace filled the air and oh what a beautiful song it is indeed. I think I should never tire of hearing its message. One other thing I realise, despite all the colourful words contained in the English language, I always seem to run out of vocabulary so quickly when it comes to describing the glories of our Father and Creator. Indeed, he is beautiful beyond description, too marvelous for words.
The summer is nearly over, but the flowers are still in perfect bloom. Man may be able to clone sheep, and even themselves one day… But I doubt that man will ever be able to create a flower as God has. I saw all the splendour of this world contained in a single white rose. Could man ever do that? Perhaps this is a good reminder of not only the perfection of our Father, but all the imperfections of ourselves.Going back to the Scottish highlands tempted me into going through all my blog entries again, for it was much about the time when I had opened up to share with others all that was in my heart. There always seems a danger in being too transparent, a fear that I had always harboured within me. Nonetheless, God finally showed me that I was selfish to keep all his blessings to myself and so my blog was born. And as I read through them again, it seemed that I had forgotten some of the things I had written, so small but yet so significant in molding me. And it tells me that I am on my way towards becoming the person God wants me to be, even if just an inch at a time. But what is contained in my blog – nothing but grace upon grace. I have known the full measure of grace that my heart can contain, so overwhelming it could break your heart. Yet I know somehow that the grace God has to give far exceeds that. I find that through the years, I have so little trials to speak of, I don’t know why. Maybe God has not tested as I deserve, but then the grace he gives always surpasses any heartbreak I have ever been through. Yesterday in Edinburgh, the song of the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace filled the air and oh what a beautiful song it is indeed. I think I should never tire of hearing its message. One other thing I realise, despite all the colourful words contained in the English language, I always seem to run out of vocabulary so quickly when it comes to describing the glories of our Father and Creator. Indeed, he is beautiful beyond description, too marvelous for words.
Tuesday 7 August 2007
three in one
For the past 3 years, I’ve been living a ‘double life’, going back and forth through Singapore and Dundee hasn’t always been the easiest, having to pick up pieces of my life here and there. But within a week or so, I’ve usually settled back into the scheme of things. But things have just become more complicated. Having lived in the Philippines for 7 weeks, I’ve created a life that I became very reluctant to leave. I wondered how difficult it would be now to combine these three separate lives into one. My thoughts float back to the Philippines every five minutes, but the precious memories I carry and the new things I have learnt have helped me to integrate these lives into one. I’m finally learning how to live every part of my life for God. I see things in a different perspective now and to be honest, it’s just great.
One common thread that runs through all three is my status of a ‘grandmother’. This is what my friends seem to have recognised, and perhaps why I am so drawn to geriatrics. Everyone tells me that I seem to think like one. What it actually means I really don’t know but then I’ve come to agree with that. I feel that my life has been so abundant that I’ve lived 80 years in these 21 years. I’ve been so blessed that even if there were no tomorrow, it wouldn’t matter. I could not ask for more than I already have. One thing I’ve always kept in my mind is that tomorrow will be better than next and the next year would always be better than the previous. But having looked at 2007, it’s already been so wonderful. I don’t know how my next 5 years could be much better, much less 20 or even 40 years. Sometimes I get scared at the wonderful plans God has for my life. I know they will be big and right now it seems just too big for my little mind to conceive. Indeed, God is good.
One common thread that runs through all three is my status of a ‘grandmother’. This is what my friends seem to have recognised, and perhaps why I am so drawn to geriatrics. Everyone tells me that I seem to think like one. What it actually means I really don’t know but then I’ve come to agree with that. I feel that my life has been so abundant that I’ve lived 80 years in these 21 years. I’ve been so blessed that even if there were no tomorrow, it wouldn’t matter. I could not ask for more than I already have. One thing I’ve always kept in my mind is that tomorrow will be better than next and the next year would always be better than the previous. But having looked at 2007, it’s already been so wonderful. I don’t know how my next 5 years could be much better, much less 20 or even 40 years. Sometimes I get scared at the wonderful plans God has for my life. I know they will be big and right now it seems just too big for my little mind to conceive. Indeed, God is good.
Sunday 29 July 2007
the stones cry out
"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." Luke 19:40
I left Puerto a day earlier before the rest of the team. I thought it wouldn’t matter, but in all honesty, that one day seemed like an eternity. I could not even pen the word ‘friends’ for they have become a family to me. That is the only thought that remains, the only love that could bring such tears and joy to my heart. My family is God’s blessing to me, but to have such a beautiful spiritual family who seems to know your every thought and understands your heart as Jesus does just seems too great a blessing. 
As I leave, I feel something unexplainable calls me to return. Could this be the Holy Spirit placing this burden or desire in my heart? I have known the peace of God in my heart before, the peace that surpasses all understanding. But despite this peace that I feel, whenever I think of returning, there comes this unsettling feeling that is calling me. Unsettling only because that call is so strong that it seems a little scary.
25 July came and it was finally time for me to go home. But five minutes before we boarded our flight back to Manila, I decided to change my flight back to Singapore. Of course I did it for personal reasons, but God’s ways are higher than our ways and in the end, He’ll work out what is best. I didn’t quite think it all the way through, and as I sat on the plane I prayed, “Lord, if it be your will to let me stay, then let me stay. If not, take me from this place.” If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, God’s timing is perfect to the last millisecond, and just like Esther, I am in a particular place and time for a reason. Eventually, my ticket was changed without much hassle and God really paved the way for me to stay those extra days.
To be honest, it’s scary to be so sure of something at this age. Yet many times I tell myself that my age should not matter. After all, Jesus reminds us of how important to keep that child like faith. But I find that there is a strange call for me in the Philippines. One that came so subtly I did not even realize it. I cannot explain what it is. The words of Exodus 2:22 still ring in my head. Louder still with each time I return and it’s a little unnerving. Is this where my exodus is? Wouldn’t you think it’s too early to tell? I suppose my human nature is beginning to get scared at the greatness of God’s plans for me. Maybe God is fast tracking me. At first I thought it was the people, but in my heart I know that it’s more than that. It’s more than the scenery, the community, even the dirty ice cream and the kamote tops. It’s something much deeper. The stones are crying out, I hear it.
Here in the Philippines, I’m lifted to the highest I can reach. I would dare anything for God and I’ve experienced riches my heart thought it would never know. I’ve learnt to embrace love in its full strength, to reach a point I could only dream of. I have known more of the person I wanted to become, the me I thought I would only know when senility took over everything else. Is it possible? Indeed, I am far from perfect, but to have come so far is quite inconceivable for me. I’ve forgotten what sorrow or anger is. I don’t know the meaning of bitterness anymore. I’ve learnt the meaning of true forgiveness and giving. How could I have been given so much in such a short time?
I left Puerto a day earlier before the rest of the team. I thought it wouldn’t matter, but in all honesty, that one day seemed like an eternity. I could not even pen the word ‘friends’ for they have become a family to me. That is the only thought that remains, the only love that could bring such tears and joy to my heart. My family is God’s blessing to me, but to have such a beautiful spiritual family who seems to know your every thought and understands your heart as Jesus does just seems too great a blessing. 
As I leave, I feel something unexplainable calls me to return. Could this be the Holy Spirit placing this burden or desire in my heart? I have known the peace of God in my heart before, the peace that surpasses all understanding. But despite this peace that I feel, whenever I think of returning, there comes this unsettling feeling that is calling me. Unsettling only because that call is so strong that it seems a little scary.
25 July came and it was finally time for me to go home. But five minutes before we boarded our flight back to Manila, I decided to change my flight back to Singapore. Of course I did it for personal reasons, but God’s ways are higher than our ways and in the end, He’ll work out what is best. I didn’t quite think it all the way through, and as I sat on the plane I prayed, “Lord, if it be your will to let me stay, then let me stay. If not, take me from this place.” If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, God’s timing is perfect to the last millisecond, and just like Esther, I am in a particular place and time for a reason. Eventually, my ticket was changed without much hassle and God really paved the way for me to stay those extra days.
In those 4 days, I was really blessed to spend more time with them. I even got to watch Don Moen in concert, which was so amazing because I was upset that I was going to miss it. I can’t remember when the last time I laughed so hard or smiled so much was. Those wonderful days finally came to an end, but as I got ready to board the plane back to Singapore, there were tears in my eyes, but still, I felt much more settled than I did 4 days ago. At Singapore immigration, the queue for Singaporeans always writes ‘Welcome Home’. Usually, I greatly anticipate reading that message, especially when I return home from the UK. Yet this time, it was different. Home? I don’t know. Home is where the heart is, they say. This time around, I left little bits of me all over the Philippines – my sock in Amas, my hairbrush in Puerto, my pillow in Baler and maybe something else in Tacloban, but I think I left my heart behind too. Just for now, I know that the sun has set on my time here this year. But I will wait patiently for that sunrise with great anticipation. Now I know how Abraham must have felt in Moriah, when he met God on the mountain. And now I know that this is why I am so drawn to Palawan, it’s God. It’s the brooding of the Spirit, just waiting for an explosion to begin the next awakening. And I know that I definitely want to be there when that happens.
Saturday 23 June 2007
their stories must be told...
How nice it is to be finally back in Puerto... In the last 5 days, I have spent over 30 hours travelling to the different communities. We've flown in a 19-seater plane, sailed in a bumboat, ridden in the back of a dump truck and squeezed in a bus like sardines in a can. These roads weren't easy, and there are many who would not be willing to tread these dirt roads. I myself confess that there is some reluctance in me to repeat the journey, but so often, we sing about how we would be willing to go to the ends of the earth to reach God's people. And if we're going to go to the ends of the earth, we've got to get there somehow.
The funny thing is, just over a year ago, I'd have to be dragged onto that little plane. My fear of flying is no secret. But then when you're doing it for God, it's a funny thing, he gives you the courage to face it.
Coron is a place of poetic beauty and romanticism, where you find your imagination captive to the beauty of nature. The famous lakes, mountains, hot springs and reefs of Coron have attracted many tourists to its beautiful shores. But beneath this glorious facade lies another story, well-hidden from its visitors. As we took the boat to the community, our companions took the time to point out the island resorts on our way there. Yet on nearby shores there are communities plagued by diarrhoea and malaria. Everyday is a struggle to survive. In one community, there was a child not 2 years of age suffering from diarrhoea. Diarrhoea? So what? What a minor ailment it would seem to us. But how my tune should change on learning that the polluted water source and lack of medical supplies or facilities would not afford him more than 2 days to live. Herein lies a land screaming out for help, especially medical help, but their cries are quickly dissipated by the waves, and drowned out by the laughter of happy tourists on neighbouring shores.
This is but one sad tale in the multitude. As we carried on with our work, we found another community who had to be relocated because their island had been purchased by a foreigner to make way for 'greater developments', in this case, a casino. But relocating a community has never been easy, and promises not always fulfilled. As I look at the children playing nearby, I cannot help but sigh. Who will tell them that their future is full of uncertainty? Who will tell them that their home, land and livelihood will be lost to make way for this greedy enterprise?
There are many more stories to be told, not uncommon at all. The last leg of our journey back to Puerto is a 14-hour ferry ride – which gives me much time to reflect and dream. Despite having visited the beautiful Makinit hot spring and Kayangan lake, it is not these places which hold my thoughts. I remember the people I have met and leave behind, each with a story to tell. Maybe a story of woe, of joy, of pain, of laughter too, but each one a story of tenacity and courage.
The funny thing is, just over a year ago, I'd have to be dragged onto that little plane. My fear of flying is no secret. But then when you're doing it for God, it's a funny thing, he gives you the courage to face it.
Coron is a place of poetic beauty and romanticism, where you find your imagination captive to the beauty of nature. The famous lakes, mountains, hot springs and reefs of Coron have attracted many tourists to its beautiful shores. But beneath this glorious facade lies another story, well-hidden from its visitors. As we took the boat to the community, our companions took the time to point out the island resorts on our way there. Yet on nearby shores there are communities plagued by diarrhoea and malaria. Everyday is a struggle to survive. In one community, there was a child not 2 years of age suffering from diarrhoea. Diarrhoea? So what? What a minor ailment it would seem to us. But how my tune should change on learning that the polluted water source and lack of medical supplies or facilities would not afford him more than 2 days to live. Herein lies a land screaming out for help, especially medical help, but their cries are quickly dissipated by the waves, and drowned out by the laughter of happy tourists on neighbouring shores.
This is but one sad tale in the multitude. As we carried on with our work, we found another community who had to be relocated because their island had been purchased by a foreigner to make way for 'greater developments', in this case, a casino. But relocating a community has never been easy, and promises not always fulfilled. As I look at the children playing nearby, I cannot help but sigh. Who will tell them that their future is full of uncertainty? Who will tell them that their home, land and livelihood will be lost to make way for this greedy enterprise?
There are many more stories to be told, not uncommon at all. The last leg of our journey back to Puerto is a 14-hour ferry ride – which gives me much time to reflect and dream. Despite having visited the beautiful Makinit hot spring and Kayangan lake, it is not these places which hold my thoughts. I remember the people I have met and leave behind, each with a story to tell. Maybe a story of woe, of joy, of pain, of laughter too, but each one a story of tenacity and courage.
Saturday 16 June 2007
the last frontier
Having travelled so much on my own, perhaps it would take much to ruffle me. Yet I find that my human nature is still prone to its fits of flurry and panic. I find also that I am often alone in my school of thought, although I admit that this is of little consequence to me. I am referring to the human inclindation of travelling in numbers. Of course, there are advantages of travelling in groups, but panic also tends to multiply in greater numbers. Not only that, it has a tendency to bring on a wave of 'what if's' and 'should have's'. I admit that in my solitary travel, there are moments of weakness where I have much desired a companion, especially to share the responsibilities of travel. However, there is also solace to be found. I find that I tend to rely more on God than on the flesh. It becomes easier to draw on the peace and strength that God has given me. Eventually when the sandstorm subsides, I always have ample time to screw my head back on.
Sometimes others think I have been on 'more than my fair share' of mission trips - at my age no less. Do I deny it? Indeed not! I have been strangely blessed. My age is no limitation to God, He will use me anyway. But I have come to find that God's ministry is like a drug, you can't get enough of it and you want more each time. So what do I mean by 'strangely blessed'? It is the most befitting term for the peculiar way all my trips have begun - things lost, flights delayed and all sorts. But this is just God's way of reminding me that his favour is upon me.
I've just completed the Condensed World Mission Course, and it's been nothing short of amazing. It is so refreshing to find that the dreams you have are nothing new, that there are so many others who have already gone before me. I've found difficulty putting this passion into words, but I found this beautiful article called 'apostolic passion' by Peter McClung, director of YWAM, which describes my exact sentiments, down to the very last letter.
"Apostolic passion, therefore, is a deliberate, intentional choice to live for the worship of Jesus in the nations. It has to do with being committed to the point of death to spreading his glory It's the quality of those who are on fire for Jesus, who dream of the whole earth being covered with the glory of the Lord... If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet. The world no longer rules your heart. You are no longer seduced by getting and gaining, but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe you may be given the privilege of dying to spread his fame on the earth. The Father's passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in him. You believe He is with you always, to the end of life itself. You are sold out to God, and live for the Lamb. Satan fears you, and the angels applaud you. Your greatest dream is that His name will be praised in languages never before heard in heaven. Your reward is the look of pure delight you anticipate seeing in His eyes when you lay at his feet the just reward of His suffering: the worship of the redeemed."
Oh I could go on and on about it, but when you have such excitement burning in your heart, could you possibly keep from imagining that someday God might consider you worthy to share in the crown of life? Impossible! I have no desire to be a renegade, a hero, a rebel or anything of the sort. I just want to answer this calling that I have been given. Now I know what it feels like to be a burning coal in the bonfire. And there is no other feeling in the world quite like it. Here there are so many who burn even more brightly than I do, and their fire only seeks to fuel mine. How wonderful it is indeed!
Palawan is well known as 'the last frontier' in the Philippines. Exactly so. Here we are learning about how we need to go to the unreached nations, to be tentmakers, to the very last frontier. There are still thousands of people groups still unreached all over the world today. I am not the first to go, nor will I be the last. But go we must, and go we will.
Sometimes others think I have been on 'more than my fair share' of mission trips - at my age no less. Do I deny it? Indeed not! I have been strangely blessed. My age is no limitation to God, He will use me anyway. But I have come to find that God's ministry is like a drug, you can't get enough of it and you want more each time. So what do I mean by 'strangely blessed'? It is the most befitting term for the peculiar way all my trips have begun - things lost, flights delayed and all sorts. But this is just God's way of reminding me that his favour is upon me.
I've just completed the Condensed World Mission Course, and it's been nothing short of amazing. It is so refreshing to find that the dreams you have are nothing new, that there are so many others who have already gone before me. I've found difficulty putting this passion into words, but I found this beautiful article called 'apostolic passion' by Peter McClung, director of YWAM, which describes my exact sentiments, down to the very last letter.
"Apostolic passion, therefore, is a deliberate, intentional choice to live for the worship of Jesus in the nations. It has to do with being committed to the point of death to spreading his glory It's the quality of those who are on fire for Jesus, who dream of the whole earth being covered with the glory of the Lord... If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet. The world no longer rules your heart. You are no longer seduced by getting and gaining, but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe you may be given the privilege of dying to spread his fame on the earth. The Father's passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in him. You believe He is with you always, to the end of life itself. You are sold out to God, and live for the Lamb. Satan fears you, and the angels applaud you. Your greatest dream is that His name will be praised in languages never before heard in heaven. Your reward is the look of pure delight you anticipate seeing in His eyes when you lay at his feet the just reward of His suffering: the worship of the redeemed."
Oh I could go on and on about it, but when you have such excitement burning in your heart, could you possibly keep from imagining that someday God might consider you worthy to share in the crown of life? Impossible! I have no desire to be a renegade, a hero, a rebel or anything of the sort. I just want to answer this calling that I have been given. Now I know what it feels like to be a burning coal in the bonfire. And there is no other feeling in the world quite like it. Here there are so many who burn even more brightly than I do, and their fire only seeks to fuel mine. How wonderful it is indeed!
Palawan is well known as 'the last frontier' in the Philippines. Exactly so. Here we are learning about how we need to go to the unreached nations, to be tentmakers, to the very last frontier. There are still thousands of people groups still unreached all over the world today. I am not the first to go, nor will I be the last. But go we must, and go we will.
Tuesday 12 June 2007
too young to know...
It's been about 6 weeks since my last post just because I've been too busy to write anything since the exams... These 6 weeks have been such a whirlwind... I've had my exams, passed them by God's grace and also had a wonderful SSC in ophthalmology... My career path still seems somewhat undecided - a hard fight between geriatrics and ophthalmology... perhaps someday soon I won't find myself so torn between the two. I've missed writing entries in my blog, but my time has not been my own and I've been much too busy writing articles to do anything else... The last time I'd worked so hard was probably my A levels... :) Nonetheless, it's been an exciting journey and I have learnt so much. I've had my dream hospital attachment as I'd wanted, and made beautiful friends... Sadly, that journey has to be put on hold for now and I will continue in Philippines where I left off the last time. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or even the next 6 weeks... nor do I know where I will be going... I just know that as always, the next day will be better than the next! :)
For the past few weeks, my mind has been wandering back to thoughts of the movie 'Amazing grace'... There are two quotes which continuously linger my mind... the first of which is 'we are too young to realise that certain things are impossible for us.' said by Pitt the younger (in the movie). I find that it is indeed a beautiful sentiment, somewhat contrary to what the world has always taught us. The other quote which has been haunting me was said by John Newton, 'my memory fails but two things I remember - I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior.' How I pray that when my dementia finally sets in, that these are the truths that will remain with me.
Tomorrow I will fly to Palawan and I am excited to see my friends again, to once again share the dreams and thoughts which caught our passion, to serve those who are in need, to discover more of who I am and who I can become, and of course, to ride a carabao and eat balut!
For the past few weeks, my mind has been wandering back to thoughts of the movie 'Amazing grace'... There are two quotes which continuously linger my mind... the first of which is 'we are too young to realise that certain things are impossible for us.' said by Pitt the younger (in the movie). I find that it is indeed a beautiful sentiment, somewhat contrary to what the world has always taught us. The other quote which has been haunting me was said by John Newton, 'my memory fails but two things I remember - I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior.' How I pray that when my dementia finally sets in, that these are the truths that will remain with me.
Tomorrow I will fly to Palawan and I am excited to see my friends again, to once again share the dreams and thoughts which caught our passion, to serve those who are in need, to discover more of who I am and who I can become, and of course, to ride a carabao and eat balut!
Sunday 22 April 2007
effected by grace
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.” 1 Corinthians 15:10
As I sat there in my bed and read this verse, such a flood of emotion came over me – an awesome wave of love and grace just came washing over me, so strong it could break your heart in two. This must have been the amazing grace that John Newton wrote about in the hymn and truly there is no other word to describe it except ‘amazing’.
My entire blog has been a testimony of God’s grace to me… Each day, each step, each path and looking back from as far as I can remember, I understand what Paul meant by saying ‘by the grace of God, I am what I am’. Without God’s amazing grace, I couldn’t possibly imagine where I would be now, if I would be at all.
Junior college was the start of my journey as a jesus freak, and yet despite my church and school ministry, most of my time was spent studying. So the only way it seemed that I could really glorify God was through my results. So I studied hard for my exams. I chose a path towards which I felt could help me serve better, but nonetheless, I didn’t want studying to be all that I could give to God.
I discovered the mission field and put all my energy into it because I loved it so much and loved it because I loved God. Things just seemed so perfect. But unfortunately, I could only spare little time to stay… Being a student still meant that studying and exams were to constitute a sufficient portion of my time. Yet with the numerous activities going on through the year and only one final exam at the end of the year, it seemed like I’d forgotten quite how to study as I did while in Singapore. I’d forgotten that the grace of God was also apportioned to my exams, not just my ministry. And again in 1 Corinthians 15:39 Paul writes, “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because that you know that your labour is not in vain.” To give myself FULLY to the Lord, meant not just in my ministry, my personal life, but also my studies… I guess it just seemed that there wasn’t much studying to be done all year so I’d forgotten. This labour is for God, not for me. Exams are coming up in a few days and being motivated by God’s grace has really helped to push me on in studying, something I’ve not done in a while.
To God Be The Glory.
As I sat there in my bed and read this verse, such a flood of emotion came over me – an awesome wave of love and grace just came washing over me, so strong it could break your heart in two. This must have been the amazing grace that John Newton wrote about in the hymn and truly there is no other word to describe it except ‘amazing’.
My entire blog has been a testimony of God’s grace to me… Each day, each step, each path and looking back from as far as I can remember, I understand what Paul meant by saying ‘by the grace of God, I am what I am’. Without God’s amazing grace, I couldn’t possibly imagine where I would be now, if I would be at all.
Junior college was the start of my journey as a jesus freak, and yet despite my church and school ministry, most of my time was spent studying. So the only way it seemed that I could really glorify God was through my results. So I studied hard for my exams. I chose a path towards which I felt could help me serve better, but nonetheless, I didn’t want studying to be all that I could give to God.
I discovered the mission field and put all my energy into it because I loved it so much and loved it because I loved God. Things just seemed so perfect. But unfortunately, I could only spare little time to stay… Being a student still meant that studying and exams were to constitute a sufficient portion of my time. Yet with the numerous activities going on through the year and only one final exam at the end of the year, it seemed like I’d forgotten quite how to study as I did while in Singapore. I’d forgotten that the grace of God was also apportioned to my exams, not just my ministry. And again in 1 Corinthians 15:39 Paul writes, “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because that you know that your labour is not in vain.” To give myself FULLY to the Lord, meant not just in my ministry, my personal life, but also my studies… I guess it just seemed that there wasn’t much studying to be done all year so I’d forgotten. This labour is for God, not for me. Exams are coming up in a few days and being motivated by God’s grace has really helped to push me on in studying, something I’ve not done in a while.
To God Be The Glory.
Friday 30 March 2007
through heaven's eyes
“Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:4
Children are the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Maybe they are here too on earth. After all, in many countries, children are considered a precious commodity and even have a price on their head. Yet this sad truth is a far cry from what Jesus had in mind.
Human trafficking, an industry built solely on the exploitation of others through means of slavery. There are about 27 million people in slavery across the world; and of these, an estimated 1.2 million children are trafficked each year. These children are being forced into hard labour, military service, begging and worst of all, prostitution. Human trafficking is currently the fastest growing industry, generating over seven billion dollars a year.
25th March 2007 marked the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade in 1807. However, this victory was only won after a long and hard fight by one of the most renowned abolitionists in the world – William Wilberforce.
In celebration of the 200 years past, the film Amazing Grace, was released. Amazing Grace documents the life of William Wilberforce, and how one man struggled to change the world. William Wilberforce was born in Hull in 1759, and at the mere age of 21, he was elected into the House of Commons. In 1784, Wilberforce embarked on a life-changing spiritual journey and was faced with a decision – to serve the Lord, or to continue his political career. Under the guidance of a clergyman, John Newton, Wilberforce resolved to dedicate his life wholly to God, whilst serving in politics. This newfound faith sparked his passion for the abolition of slavery and the reformation of society.
Wilberforce introduced many bills year after year, all of which were defeated. Yet through his tenacity and determination, together with the support of petitions signed by the British citizens, the bill was passed in 1807 with a large majority. Later in 1833, just before his death, a bill for the abolition of slavery across all British colonies was passed.
It’s been 200 years, and it’s hard to believe that modern-day slavery exists. It is even more difficult to grasp the idea that it is one of the most flourishing trades in the world. To so many people, the idea of slavery remains a thing of the past. If this is the case, then how has the world come to this state? We need to raise awareness among our family, our friends and our society, that slavery is still a very real problem in this world. We can join in the fight against human trafficking through signing petitions, joining campaigns and raising funds.
William Wilberforce was only 21 when he entered the House of Commons, and as Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 4:12, “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” We are never too young to start changing the world for God.
Jeremiah was called to the Lord’s service, and he said, ‘I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.’ But the Lord told him “Do not say ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” (Jeremiah 1:4-8) Even before we were born, God had already set us apart to do great things for him. We may still be children in the eyes of man, but God has already equipped us to do the impossible from the day we were born.
And one question now remains – where are the William Wilberforces of today?
Children are the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Maybe they are here too on earth. After all, in many countries, children are considered a precious commodity and even have a price on their head. Yet this sad truth is a far cry from what Jesus had in mind.
Human trafficking, an industry built solely on the exploitation of others through means of slavery. There are about 27 million people in slavery across the world; and of these, an estimated 1.2 million children are trafficked each year. These children are being forced into hard labour, military service, begging and worst of all, prostitution. Human trafficking is currently the fastest growing industry, generating over seven billion dollars a year.
25th March 2007 marked the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade in 1807. However, this victory was only won after a long and hard fight by one of the most renowned abolitionists in the world – William Wilberforce.
In celebration of the 200 years past, the film Amazing Grace, was released. Amazing Grace documents the life of William Wilberforce, and how one man struggled to change the world. William Wilberforce was born in Hull in 1759, and at the mere age of 21, he was elected into the House of Commons. In 1784, Wilberforce embarked on a life-changing spiritual journey and was faced with a decision – to serve the Lord, or to continue his political career. Under the guidance of a clergyman, John Newton, Wilberforce resolved to dedicate his life wholly to God, whilst serving in politics. This newfound faith sparked his passion for the abolition of slavery and the reformation of society.
Wilberforce introduced many bills year after year, all of which were defeated. Yet through his tenacity and determination, together with the support of petitions signed by the British citizens, the bill was passed in 1807 with a large majority. Later in 1833, just before his death, a bill for the abolition of slavery across all British colonies was passed.
It’s been 200 years, and it’s hard to believe that modern-day slavery exists. It is even more difficult to grasp the idea that it is one of the most flourishing trades in the world. To so many people, the idea of slavery remains a thing of the past. If this is the case, then how has the world come to this state? We need to raise awareness among our family, our friends and our society, that slavery is still a very real problem in this world. We can join in the fight against human trafficking through signing petitions, joining campaigns and raising funds.
William Wilberforce was only 21 when he entered the House of Commons, and as Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 4:12, “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” We are never too young to start changing the world for God.
Jeremiah was called to the Lord’s service, and he said, ‘I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.’ But the Lord told him “Do not say ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” (Jeremiah 1:4-8) Even before we were born, God had already set us apart to do great things for him. We may still be children in the eyes of man, but God has already equipped us to do the impossible from the day we were born.
And one question now remains – where are the William Wilberforces of today?
Wednesday 21 March 2007
signs and wonders
“Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.” 1 Samuel 10:7
One thing I’ve found difficult, was asking God for personal things. Maybe for ministry, for friends, for family, for the world, but for myself – it was difficult. That was another reason why I was afraid to go back to Singapore or to Dundee. I was afraid to get caught up again in the material world, so fixed on acquiring little luxuries, like clothes, shoes and accessories we just didn’t need. It definitely isn’t sinful to have property, money, a family or anything like that. Still, it didn’t change the fact that I just couldn’t ask for it.
In 1 Samuel 9 and 10, Saul was anointed king by Samuel. He certainly didn’t ask for it but God blessed him with it. You would think that someone would be happy being appointed king and just take it, but no, Saul didn’t. He questioned how someone as insignificant as him could be blessed with something so great. Instead of just receiving the blessing, he asked God for more signs to be sure. God didn’t call him ungrateful and then take it back; he gave him so many signs that there was no more space for doubt. And finally God told him that when these signs were fulfilled, he should pick up his task, for God was with him.
And I find I’m like that. Before I could even ask God for something, I had to be sure he wanted me to have it. I could never really bring myself to ask God for personal things. So I asked for signs that to be sure that God accepted my request. To my utter surprise, God fulfilled these signs. To be honest, it took me a while to grasp my head around it. Now I know that I can keep holding on to that request, because God has granted me his favour and given me his promise.
Indeed, now I know what Psalm 37:4 truly means ‘Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.’ God delights in the well-being of his servant (Psalm 35:27) and when we are willing to give our lives to serve him, he will not withhold any good thing from us.
One thing I’ve found difficult, was asking God for personal things. Maybe for ministry, for friends, for family, for the world, but for myself – it was difficult. That was another reason why I was afraid to go back to Singapore or to Dundee. I was afraid to get caught up again in the material world, so fixed on acquiring little luxuries, like clothes, shoes and accessories we just didn’t need. It definitely isn’t sinful to have property, money, a family or anything like that. Still, it didn’t change the fact that I just couldn’t ask for it.
In 1 Samuel 9 and 10, Saul was anointed king by Samuel. He certainly didn’t ask for it but God blessed him with it. You would think that someone would be happy being appointed king and just take it, but no, Saul didn’t. He questioned how someone as insignificant as him could be blessed with something so great. Instead of just receiving the blessing, he asked God for more signs to be sure. God didn’t call him ungrateful and then take it back; he gave him so many signs that there was no more space for doubt. And finally God told him that when these signs were fulfilled, he should pick up his task, for God was with him.
And I find I’m like that. Before I could even ask God for something, I had to be sure he wanted me to have it. I could never really bring myself to ask God for personal things. So I asked for signs that to be sure that God accepted my request. To my utter surprise, God fulfilled these signs. To be honest, it took me a while to grasp my head around it. Now I know that I can keep holding on to that request, because God has granted me his favour and given me his promise.
Indeed, now I know what Psalm 37:4 truly means ‘Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.’ God delights in the well-being of his servant (Psalm 35:27) and when we are willing to give our lives to serve him, he will not withhold any good thing from us.
Tuesday 27 February 2007
Joy Overflowing
“The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.”
For so long I had been praying for God to show me how I could use my summer holidays to serve him. Of course we serve him in our daily lives, but this was time freely at my disposal and I wanted to dedicate every bit of it to God. Of course there were many things that I could do, but I wanted him to put me where he thought I could serve him the best. Because if we don’t use all we have to serve him to our full potential, then what is the point?
As I continued to pray, I saw so many amazing things happen over the days. God made my paths straight and opened so many doors. From the very day that he had given me the green light, he also provided everything that I needed. I had no worries at all. I told God that I was willing to go anywhere he would send me, all he had to do was to tell me where and I would do it all, no matter what it took. But that’s not the love of a father. He did everything for me. And through this, I work harder every day towards becoming a missionary. I know that even if he sent me to a difficult place, I would never need to worry because he would provide everything for me. And this is just his promise in 2 Corinthians 9:8 – “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, you will abound in every good work.” So now we can go forth – BY GRACE ALONE.
For so long I had been praying for God to show me how I could use my summer holidays to serve him. Of course we serve him in our daily lives, but this was time freely at my disposal and I wanted to dedicate every bit of it to God. Of course there were many things that I could do, but I wanted him to put me where he thought I could serve him the best. Because if we don’t use all we have to serve him to our full potential, then what is the point?
As I continued to pray, I saw so many amazing things happen over the days. God made my paths straight and opened so many doors. From the very day that he had given me the green light, he also provided everything that I needed. I had no worries at all. I told God that I was willing to go anywhere he would send me, all he had to do was to tell me where and I would do it all, no matter what it took. But that’s not the love of a father. He did everything for me. And through this, I work harder every day towards becoming a missionary. I know that even if he sent me to a difficult place, I would never need to worry because he would provide everything for me. And this is just his promise in 2 Corinthians 9:8 – “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, you will abound in every good work.” So now we can go forth – BY GRACE ALONE.
Tuesday 6 February 2007
the promised land
I’ve been to the Promised Land…
“And I have promised to bring you… a land flowing with milk and honey.” Exodus 3:17
Or so that’s what they tell me – Palawan is the land flowing with milk and honey… Perhaps in some ways, it is like the Promised Land, where the people live in freedom to praise their Lord. Every other street has a huge sign directing people to church, and people are also proud to wear their faith on their T-shirts. Even tricycles display Scripture verses on the front. Local artists are proud to tell the world that they are Christians and the newspapers have daily Bible readings for the people to follow.
It may seem quite subtle, but to me, it feels like a bit of a release being able to share so freely. It’s really amazing.
After going through training, I feel that I’ve learnt so much, especially spiritually. I’ve picked up courage in sharing His Word and sometimes I see people next to me and think if I were to share with them how I’d start. God is truly amazing.
So at the end of my trip, I gave a testimony in church and I was really nervous but it was also great to share all that God had done for me. And at the end of it, I sung one of my favourite songs – how could I ask for more.
How could I ask for more
“And I have promised to bring you… a land flowing with milk and honey.” Exodus 3:17
Or so that’s what they tell me – Palawan is the land flowing with milk and honey… Perhaps in some ways, it is like the Promised Land, where the people live in freedom to praise their Lord. Every other street has a huge sign directing people to church, and people are also proud to wear their faith on their T-shirts. Even tricycles display Scripture verses on the front. Local artists are proud to tell the world that they are Christians and the newspapers have daily Bible readings for the people to follow.It may seem quite subtle, but to me, it feels like a bit of a release being able to share so freely. It’s really amazing.
After going through training, I feel that I’ve learnt so much, especially spiritually. I’ve picked up courage in sharing His Word and sometimes I see people next to me and think if I were to share with them how I’d start. God is truly amazing.
So at the end of my trip, I gave a testimony in church and I was really nervous but it was also great to share all that God had done for me. And at the end of it, I sung one of my favourite songs – how could I ask for more.
How could I ask for more
There’s nothing like the warmth
Of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight
Being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing momma’s face goodnight
Holding daddy’s hand
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide-and-go-seek
Being so in love
That you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark
When there’s no one else around
Being bundled ‘neath the covers
Watching snow fall to the ground
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I’ve made along the way
So if there’s anything I’ve learnt
From this journey I’m on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cos there are questions without answers
And flames that never die
And heartaches we go through
Are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
The Cost of Following Jesus
“I have become an alien in a foreign land.” Exodus 2:22
Another matter on my mind was that of being away from home. I know my parents always wish that I would spend more time at home but today I realised that when we are called by God to go, there is no stopping us.
As it writes in Luke 9:61-62
Still another said, “I will follow you Lord, but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
I know that if I want to follow Jesus, there’s no turning back. I have to pay the cost; I have to give up my family. But God always gives back.
I’ve never been quite interested in short-term mission trips. I’d always wanted to stay in a place for a long time and do God’s work there. As of now, I don’t know where but amidst my flood of thoughts, God gave me this word “IN THIS LAND I WILL DWELL.”
Wherever I go, I’m covered in prayer by my family at home, and he’s given me a spiritual family in the land that I’m in.
Just as Moses left Egypt and resided in Midian, so I too will find a home in another land.
I don’t know where I will go or where this place is, but I know now that I’m meant to leave my home and go to wherever God calls me. Maybe that’s why the Ten Commandments and the story of Moses has been my favourite since I was 4 years old – someday I will have my Exodus and become an alien in a foreign land.
TO THE END, LORD, TO THE VERY END.
Stripped
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart.” Job 1:21a
In coming here, I find that I was pushed to my limits – physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Honestly it was the most challenging trip of my life, such that I even began to question and wanted to go home. This year I have Scriptures as my resolutions or commandments to live by for 2007. One of them is Phil 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” And leaving Singapore to live as a missionary seems as though I would be in want. Even I believed it for awhile compared to what I enjoyed, but later realised that I am not at all in want and never have been. I have never had lack of food, water and shelter. Even though I have less, I still live in abundance. When we were in Malia, we sat there enjoying canned food and rice, but the children barely had any food and we even shared our rice with them, which was all they had. Even staying out in Amas, I lived in a beautiful house covered with a blanket of stars at night. There was more than enough food on the table, we didn’t even need to fetch water because we were one of the rare few with a faucet, plus there was electricity. And as the Lord has promised good to me, in Psalm 23:1, “I shall never be in want.”
Moving mountains
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
I’ve never climbed a mountain, and at 890m above sea level, it sounded daunting. But having never done it, I didn’t know what to expect either. Even now, I can’t say if it was easier or more difficult than I expected. I can’t say that I climbed a mountain either. It wasn’t a mountain to me, because I just concentrated taking one step after another. That was all that mattered. And I thank God for giving me spiritual eyes to see. Even looking back at my journey over the past year, there’s never been leaps and bounds, they’re little steps. And when I slipped on the mountain, there was always a friend to pick me up, just as when I faced trials, God has always been there to pick me up. I’ve always been one to plan my life months ahead. Even now, as I pray for where God wants to send me, the things I pray for are still many years away. I think too much about the future. But He’s shown me that it’s just the next step there and then that really matters and if we just keep focussed on him, He will lead us there. So I’ve finally learnt to take things one step at a time and trust in Jesus now.
We joked about how the mountain didn’t move, but perhaps my mountain did move. I didn’t see it as a mountain – my mountain was indeed gone! I just didn’t quite realise it.
Of course, the other reason for my wonderful trip was also my wonderful friends, who always looked out for me, took care of me, and best of all, laughed with me. They were there to catch me when I slipped and to extend a hand when I needed it.
The one thing I have really been dwelling on is the word that God gave to me – “In this land I will dwell,” and the next day he gave me the verse Exodus 2:22. God always has perfect timing, so maybe he gave me this verse at this time for a particular reason. Honestly, I don’t know but one thing I do know, God will reveal his purpose in His time.
I love the song In Me by Casting Crowns and now I really know the meaning of it. If someone needed help, I’d go in a heartbeat and climb up again. And I’d do it again and again. Now I know in my heart for sure that if God called me to the hardest of places, I’d go. There’s nothing stopping me now.
So through my time there, God has opened my eyes to see the needs of the people, the power of prayer, the hearts of missionaries, the dedication of his servants, the steadfastness of his soldiers, the faith of his anointed, the love of friends, the joy of fellowship, the beauty of creation and the abundance of his blessings.
Indeed, how could I ask for more?
Of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight
Being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing momma’s face goodnight
Holding daddy’s hand
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide-and-go-seek
Being so in love
That you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark
When there’s no one else around
Being bundled ‘neath the covers
Watching snow fall to the ground
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I’ve made along the way
So if there’s anything I’ve learnt
From this journey I’m on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cos there are questions without answers
And flames that never die
And heartaches we go through
Are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
How could I ask for more
The Cost of Following Jesus
“I have become an alien in a foreign land.” Exodus 2:22
Another matter on my mind was that of being away from home. I know my parents always wish that I would spend more time at home but today I realised that when we are called by God to go, there is no stopping us.
As it writes in Luke 9:61-62
Still another said, “I will follow you Lord, but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
I know that if I want to follow Jesus, there’s no turning back. I have to pay the cost; I have to give up my family. But God always gives back.
I’ve never been quite interested in short-term mission trips. I’d always wanted to stay in a place for a long time and do God’s work there. As of now, I don’t know where but amidst my flood of thoughts, God gave me this word “IN THIS LAND I WILL DWELL.”
Wherever I go, I’m covered in prayer by my family at home, and he’s given me a spiritual family in the land that I’m in.
Just as Moses left Egypt and resided in Midian, so I too will find a home in another land.
I don’t know where I will go or where this place is, but I know now that I’m meant to leave my home and go to wherever God calls me. Maybe that’s why the Ten Commandments and the story of Moses has been my favourite since I was 4 years old – someday I will have my Exodus and become an alien in a foreign land.
TO THE END, LORD, TO THE VERY END.
Stripped
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart.” Job 1:21a
In coming here, I find that I was pushed to my limits – physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Honestly it was the most challenging trip of my life, such that I even began to question and wanted to go home. This year I have Scriptures as my resolutions or commandments to live by for 2007. One of them is Phil 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” And leaving Singapore to live as a missionary seems as though I would be in want. Even I believed it for awhile compared to what I enjoyed, but later realised that I am not at all in want and never have been. I have never had lack of food, water and shelter. Even though I have less, I still live in abundance. When we were in Malia, we sat there enjoying canned food and rice, but the children barely had any food and we even shared our rice with them, which was all they had. Even staying out in Amas, I lived in a beautiful house covered with a blanket of stars at night. There was more than enough food on the table, we didn’t even need to fetch water because we were one of the rare few with a faucet, plus there was electricity. And as the Lord has promised good to me, in Psalm 23:1, “I shall never be in want.”Moving mountains
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
I’ve never climbed a mountain, and at 890m above sea level, it sounded daunting. But having never done it, I didn’t know what to expect either. Even now, I can’t say if it was easier or more difficult than I expected. I can’t say that I climbed a mountain either. It wasn’t a mountain to me, because I just concentrated taking one step after another. That was all that mattered. And I thank God for giving me spiritual eyes to see. Even looking back at my journey over the past year, there’s never been leaps and bounds, they’re little steps. And when I slipped on the mountain, there was always a friend to pick me up, just as when I faced trials, God has always been there to pick me up. I’ve always been one to plan my life months ahead. Even now, as I pray for where God wants to send me, the things I pray for are still many years away. I think too much about the future. But He’s shown me that it’s just the next step there and then that really matters and if we just keep focussed on him, He will lead us there. So I’ve finally learnt to take things one step at a time and trust in Jesus now.
We joked about how the mountain didn’t move, but perhaps my mountain did move. I didn’t see it as a mountain – my mountain was indeed gone! I just didn’t quite realise it.
Of course, the other reason for my wonderful trip was also my wonderful friends, who always looked out for me, took care of me, and best of all, laughed with me. They were there to catch me when I slipped and to extend a hand when I needed it.
The one thing I have really been dwelling on is the word that God gave to me – “In this land I will dwell,” and the next day he gave me the verse Exodus 2:22. God always has perfect timing, so maybe he gave me this verse at this time for a particular reason. Honestly, I don’t know but one thing I do know, God will reveal his purpose in His time.
I love the song In Me by Casting Crowns and now I really know the meaning of it. If someone needed help, I’d go in a heartbeat and climb up again. And I’d do it again and again. Now I know in my heart for sure that if God called me to the hardest of places, I’d go. There’s nothing stopping me now.
So through my time there, God has opened my eyes to see the needs of the people, the power of prayer, the hearts of missionaries, the dedication of his servants, the steadfastness of his soldiers, the faith of his anointed, the love of friends, the joy of fellowship, the beauty of creation and the abundance of his blessings.
Indeed, how could I ask for more?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)