Too often I find that I allow my emotions to get the better of me. My personality is ruled by my heart rather than my head which is why I think I get so attached to my patients. There is always someone more senior around who has your back but then it doesn't change the fact that I still get very protective of each person I look after. I suppose it's both good and bad.. The bad thing is that I have 'letting go' issues. Most people don't see patients the same way I do and obviously things can get difficult when they don't.
I allowed myself to get so angry when someone didn't care the way I did and was I right or wrong? I'm still not sure. Does it matter less when you fix the problem in time? Or is a mistake still a mistake regardless of the outcome?
The only message God has given me to take away from this are the words in James 1:19,20:
'Dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.'
Perhaps I did what was right to protect the patient, but maybe not in the way that God would have wanted me to. Bottom line is, did it feel like I was living the righteous life God wanted? That day, I didn't. But if I remember this day, perhaps it'll keep me from making the same mistake tomorrow.
