It's unlike me to have not written a blog post for 4 months but perhaps it's just a reflection of how my spiritual life has stagnated for a while.
For the last 7 years I have been going on mission trips in response to the calling that has been given me but also in an effort to discover where God will place me in the future. This trip has in no way been the most arduous for me but I have experienced so many breakthroughs during this trip.
The past two years have been particularly intense as I desperately pray and search a place to take a sabbath year as part of my promise to God. And after much searching, my thoughts and prayers had fallen on the Congo to the dismay of my family and friends. So I had to get on this trip to Africa to discover if this might be where He would place me.
Unlike any other trips that I have been on, this trip really allowed me to come into my own right as a doctor. To love and to take responsibility for each patient as Jesus would. And I have seen how God can use me not because of my medical knowledge but because of the love he has given us.
My entire trip was overshadowed by an encounter with a patient who I know God had destined for me to see. This elderly man sat a few steps away waiting to see me and then when he was called he got on his knees and began to crawl towards the seat. Later I realised he had sustained a cord injury two years ago resulting in leg weakness and he was forced to crawl on his hands and knees. He asked if I could help him walk and all I could offer was an explanation for what had happened but no solutions. At that moment, I too fell on my knees and knelt at the feet of Jesus asking for mercy and strength. As the tears flowed freely, I saw the image of myself shrinking and our God grow bigger. I was blessed to be able to pray for him, not for healing but that the glory of God might be displayed in his life, whether or not he crawled on all fours or walked on two. I don't know if he will walk again but I know that God loves him.
Yet this encounter was much more than seeing firsthand the omnipotence of God. For many years I have had this burden weighed so heavily upon me. This recurring dream where I am trying to run uphill but each step is like trying to run in mud. This burden I have been carrying has been the weight of the talents God has given me and I have been trying to give away all the blessings he has given me but I cannot outgive The Great Giver. Like a boat that is sinking, I am being drowned by the overflowing blessings he is giving me. With every scoop of water I throw overboard, God floods me again with more blessing. And with each blessing that is wrought by his hand, my burden grows because I know that to whom much has been given, much will be demanded and I need to be a good steward of the gifts he has given me.
But as I prayed for this man, healing was mine not his. My soul was set free as I heard Jesus say to me, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." The gifts are his and the burden is his. All I have to do is to maximise the opportunities given to me. I know full well that I will never come close to repaying the debt that is owed, but God never asked for payment. He only asks that we love him and to be faithful to him.
I pray indeed that God would help me to spend more time sitting at his feet, listening to his word and give up the Martha in me.
I still don't have an answer as to where and when God will send me in the years to come. But I know that I just need to tread that path of grace and follow him step by step.
For the last 7 years I have been going on mission trips in response to the calling that has been given me but also in an effort to discover where God will place me in the future. This trip has in no way been the most arduous for me but I have experienced so many breakthroughs during this trip.
The past two years have been particularly intense as I desperately pray and search a place to take a sabbath year as part of my promise to God. And after much searching, my thoughts and prayers had fallen on the Congo to the dismay of my family and friends. So I had to get on this trip to Africa to discover if this might be where He would place me.
Unlike any other trips that I have been on, this trip really allowed me to come into my own right as a doctor. To love and to take responsibility for each patient as Jesus would. And I have seen how God can use me not because of my medical knowledge but because of the love he has given us.
My entire trip was overshadowed by an encounter with a patient who I know God had destined for me to see. This elderly man sat a few steps away waiting to see me and then when he was called he got on his knees and began to crawl towards the seat. Later I realised he had sustained a cord injury two years ago resulting in leg weakness and he was forced to crawl on his hands and knees. He asked if I could help him walk and all I could offer was an explanation for what had happened but no solutions. At that moment, I too fell on my knees and knelt at the feet of Jesus asking for mercy and strength. As the tears flowed freely, I saw the image of myself shrinking and our God grow bigger. I was blessed to be able to pray for him, not for healing but that the glory of God might be displayed in his life, whether or not he crawled on all fours or walked on two. I don't know if he will walk again but I know that God loves him.
Yet this encounter was much more than seeing firsthand the omnipotence of God. For many years I have had this burden weighed so heavily upon me. This recurring dream where I am trying to run uphill but each step is like trying to run in mud. This burden I have been carrying has been the weight of the talents God has given me and I have been trying to give away all the blessings he has given me but I cannot outgive The Great Giver. Like a boat that is sinking, I am being drowned by the overflowing blessings he is giving me. With every scoop of water I throw overboard, God floods me again with more blessing. And with each blessing that is wrought by his hand, my burden grows because I know that to whom much has been given, much will be demanded and I need to be a good steward of the gifts he has given me.
But as I prayed for this man, healing was mine not his. My soul was set free as I heard Jesus say to me, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." The gifts are his and the burden is his. All I have to do is to maximise the opportunities given to me. I know full well that I will never come close to repaying the debt that is owed, but God never asked for payment. He only asks that we love him and to be faithful to him.
I pray indeed that God would help me to spend more time sitting at his feet, listening to his word and give up the Martha in me.
I still don't have an answer as to where and when God will send me in the years to come. But I know that I just need to tread that path of grace and follow him step by step.
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